Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Condoms

If there was ever an invention to make sex as safe as possible, it has to be the condom. Not only do they prevent the spread of sexually transmitted diseases, but they’re very effective at preventing pregnancy too. No other form of contraception is so reliable and versatile. So what’s not to love?

Buying them

So you’re shy about asking for them? Supermarkets and gas stations carry condoms these days – you can buy them from a machine in the washroom. Sex clinics give them out by the handful for nothing. And if you still feel weird about getting your hands on condoms – just consider how it would feel buying medicine to treat an STD instead.

Carrying them

Is it presuming too much to take condoms on a date? Frankly, that attitude hasn’t been seen since the fifties. So the girl might realise you do have sex and you wanted it with her. Is that an insult? In any case, you don’t have to take them out your pocket and wave them around. If you get to the point where you need one, you’ll both be happy to see that little foil wrapper, never mind who was carrying it!

Using them

Remember the classes where you practised with a banana? Do yourself a favor, practise with the real thing. Use a whole pack if you need to – keep trying till you know how to get one on properly. You won’t be able to put on a condom if your penis isn’t fully erect – but remember that the penis releases fluid that can spread STIs or contain sperm even before it’s erect. Remember to pinch the ‘teat’ at the end before you unroll the condom down your penis – you might want to leave a bit more space at the top to prevent the condom from splitting. Keep this teat pinched between your fingers as you unroll the condom, and make sure it’s fully covering your penis before and during sex. Don’t feel shy about interrupting your lovemaking to put one on – that pause can only build the excitement!

Last words

Oil based lubes, sharp fingernails, jewellery and out of date condoms are all recipes for disaster. Use a special lubricant. Some people find they have an allergy to latex – condoms now come in allergy-friendly latex-free varieties. In fact, there are now a vast number of different shapes, colors, sizes and flavors of condom. Experiment to see which ones you and your lover prefer – perhaps a ribbed variety for more stimulation or a condom with extra lube for very sensual sex. You should use a condom or dental dam for oral sex too, and change condoms for every new orifice or sex act.

Finally, to get rid of a condom, wrap it and bin it. Never flush a condom down the toilet.

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